His pledge to her:
i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.
I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before, but it’s so perfect.
i think I am going to cry
I think at least 200,000 of those notes are me reblogging this
So Purgatory is a forest.
What if purgatory used to be Eden? It’s been warped since Adam and Eve ate the apple, but instead of being banished out of Eden, like, Eve was trapped there. and she became the Mother of monsters, and that’s where they live now.
A monstrous, darkened version of Eden.
So what happened to Adam??
when i was 12 i made a deal with my dad that if i didn’t date until i was 16 he’d owe me $100 AND I FUCKING REMEMBERED THE OTHER DAY AND MY DAD SAID IT WAS "RIDICULOUS ENOUGH TO BE TRUE" HE’S ACTUALLY GONNA GIVE ME $100
so my dad come home today and was like “katie i did it i got your money”
he gave me 100 one dollar bills
my dad gave me 100 one dollar bills
i can pretend to be a super star
i am a queen
i made it rain on my mom
and the battle continues
WHAT IS AIR?
YOU GOT YOUR SEX ADDICTS
YOU GOT YOUR GEEKS
YOU GOT YOUR FOREIGNERS
YOU GOT YOUR ALIENS
YOU GOT YOUR BASKETBALL PLAYERS
YOU GOT THE PEOPLE WHO THINK YOU’RE HIGH WHEN YOU’RE JUST FROM TUMBLR
YOU GOT YOUR VOLDEMORTS
YOU GOT YOUR INDIAN PEOPLE WHO THINK OMEGLE IS A GAME SHOW
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST YOU GOT YOUR FELLOW TUMBLR TROLLS
YOU GOT YOUR CAPTAIN OBVIOUS
You got your Voldemorts
- baby: d-d-d-d
- dad: daddy?
- baby: destroy capitalism
- karl marx: nice
"no homo" the teenage boy whispers as he pulls away from kissing his friend. he gently strokes the other males face "full bi" he adds in a sensuous tone.
can that be abbreviated FBI?
"A new study shows that men are threatened by confident women taking pictures of themselves, and call these women stupid, socially inept, and ugly. In other news, the world is round, the sky is blue, and the patriarchy is still shitty."